4 friends discover a piece of North India (page 6 of 8)

Good evening Attila,

I think all countries change, just like the world itself, like us. I still believe that India from 15 or 20 years ago is different from today’s, inevitably. Of course, you’re right—there are strong constants, like a thick substratum, much stronger than in the West, which can give the impression of immobility. But delving into that would start a very long discussion. Where I think you and I would agree, though, is that as tourists, we only perceive the surface of things.

Thanks so much for your comments on the discussion thread.

Yeah, sorry about that. I mixed up the 73 with the 74. 😏 Have a great rest of your evening.

Deep down, I hope attitudes are changing. 🙂

Not really, actually... It’s this lack of progress in attitudes that’s holding India back. Especially in the north, especially in Rajasthan... Yes, like I mentioned earlier, things are shifting for couples and marriage, for example, but religion blocks everything. I’m reading the Ramayana right now, which is one of the foundational texts of Hinduism, and it’s helping me understand a lot about the behavior of Indians, across all religions, because they’re influenced by Hindu culture. But it’s like if we still referred to the Bible and the Gospels in our daily lives in the 2000s. And then there are the priorities too... We send research vehicles to the moon, we’re building a high-speed train (for the rich), but garbage collection—and its disposal—still leaves a lot to be desired. Tap water still isn’t drinkable, etc...

Your message immediately reminded me of a memorable evening from my trip there: At my request, my guide had arranged a night "with a local family," which was difficult because it’s not common in India. But I wanted to be able to chat and soak up the atmosphere for an evening.

In the end, we ended up at Dev’s place (I’m still in touch with him) and his wife’s—a well-to-do couple living in the upscale suburbs of Ajmer (between Udaipur and Jaipur). One of my best evenings, the connection between us (the men) was instant. We talked about everything until late into the night, and the conversations were honest and sincere.

He blamed India’s struggles to progress on the caste system, which, although abolished by the constitution in 1950, still permeates daily life. This system, combined with the concept of "karma"—where you’re supposed to accept your current condition in this life to hope for a better one next time—was the biggest obstacle because people don’t aspire to improve their social or material status, so they don’t make the effort to change. And on a national scale, that holds the country back.

Anyway, Dev’s biggest surprise was about my kids—he really pitied me for having three daughters and having to pay future dowries 😅. I remember how shocked he was by the freedom of choice I gave my wife and daughters. A cultural thing!

Dev, for whom life had been kind 😊

he really felt sorry for me having 3 daughters

3 daughters? !!!!!! Poor you. And I only have one [;]

he really felt sorry for me having 3 daughters

3 daughters? !!!!!! Poor you. And I only have one 😉

And me, two!

Your story is really nice! But why do you use the past tense when talking about Dev?

Dev, for whom life had smiled 😁

(Your emojis are terrible 🤪—I prefer VF’s ones)

he really felt sorry for me having 3 daughters

3 daughters? !!!!!! Poor you. And I only have one 😉

Are you Indian too? 😂 Truth is, 3 daughters and a son, but I’m only the biological father of two. Though over time, they’ve all become mine. That said, the youngest is now 32, so they’re pretty independent. Well, mostly.

Your story is really nice! But why do you use the past tense when you talk about Dev?

Dev, for whom life had smiled 😁

(your smileys are so lame 🤪 I prefer VF’s)

I use the past tense because it’s been over 5 years. But you’re right, I could’ve used the present tense since life is still smiling on him (well, according to the latest news).

And my smileys are the ones from my phone—they’re easier to use 😜

Lovely travel story! I took almost the same route as you four, and your impressions reassure me about the timelessness of India—how "it doesn’t change." I can’t wait to go back, but with a lot more time and freedom.* Thanks for sharing your story. Mina

your impressions reassure me about the permanence of India, that "it doesn’t change."

Sorry, but it *does* change! And thank goodness it does! It changes a lot, and fast—year after year... Anita Nair writes (I think it’s in *The Nine Faces of the Heart*): "We’re not staying in the Middle Ages just to please them!" "Them" being us Western tourists.

Thanks Minadeaca, We’re heading back to South India in three months and we can’t wait! 😊

"We’re not going to stay in the Middle Ages just to please them!" "Them" being us Western tourists

You’re absolutely right—this quote from Anita Nair reminds me of comments I’ve heard (or read) about Morocco: “What a shame! Before, there was the charm of a dirt track. Now it’s a paved road.”

Yeah... 😕... except now the school bus can actually get through!

"We’re not going to stay in the Middle Ages just to please them!" "Them" being us Western tourists

You’re so right—this quote from Anita Nair reminds me of comments I’ve heard or read about Morocco: “What a shame! Before, there was the charm of a dirt track. Now it’s a paved road.”

Yeah... 😕... except now the school bus can get through!

Wait, are there even schools in Morocco? ( ⚠️ 15th degree sarcasm)

So happy to be back on the site reading this amazing travel journal from Rajasthan, which we discovered in February 2020. We were amazed by this independent trip, and as soon as we got back, we planned another one to South India for January 2021 and even bought our flight tickets. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. But the project isn’t dead—we’re still looking forward to your travel journal!! See you soon, and happy travels. Michel

your impressions reassure me about the permanence of India, that "it doesn’t change."

Sorry, but it *does* change! And thank goodness it does! A lot, and very quickly, year after year... Anita Nair writes—I think it’s in *The Nine Faces of the Heart*—"We’re not going to stay in the Middle Ages just to please them!" "Them" being us Western tourists.

Not so sure—I think India and Indians are all about "slow living," which unfortunately hasn’t caught on in the West. At the same time, it’s good that things change, as long as it’s the right kind of change.

Thanks Michel! 🙂 I think—well, I hope—that we’ll have just as much fun writing our new travel journal (Tamil Nadu / Kerala in January 2025).

Thanks for this really enjoyable travel journal. Kate’s photos are always so lovely.

Hi there! 🙂 I’m not sure if they will be in the future (a distant one, let’s hope!), but my gear’s getting heavier and heavier to carry when I travel. A lighter, more powerful camera is still really expensive 😕

Hi Kate and Richard,

Beautiful writing, stunning photos—this four-handed travel journal is one of the rare invitations to read on VF. It’s also, of course, an invitation to travel to a country you showcase with so much talent...