A Humorous and Caricatured Summary of the Cities I've Visited Around the World

Here’s a little recap of the cities I’ve seen around the world: - Shanghai: ultra-modern skyscrapers as far as the eye can see on one side, and on the other, families crammed 10 to a 20-square-meter studio in rundown buildings. - San Francisco: a city with a huge proportion of people who are high and have lost their minds. - Accra (Ghana): streets so empty you keep wondering where everyone is hiding. - Delhi: crumbling fortresses and mosques tucked away at every corner—dream territory for budding archaeologists. - Bangalore: the "Bangaloreans" are true modern-day cowboys—you’ve got to see how rickshaws, motorbikes, and buses try to overtake each other like it’s a PlayStation game. - Srinagar (in the Kashmir region of northern India): a city where almost every building could pass for a slum (except the mosques), and the only people who don’t look like beggars are the military and the imams. - Beijing: crowds tightly controlled by the army, and loads of Western tourists asking you on the street where to find Western junk food chains. - Amritsar (in the Punjab state of India): the city with the world’s only 100% vegetarian McDonald’s. - Florence: the place where the quality of food varies the most in the world between touristy restaurants and local spots. - Chennai: a boy and girl holding hands in public is considered absolutely horrifying to locals, who worship a god whose symbol is a sexual element. - Cambridge (Massachusetts, USA): a city where street names and building numbers aren’t marked (just like in India), and every person you ask for help turns out to be a tourist. - Boston: the city with the slowest subway in the world—you can almost catch up to it by running. - Yangon: just a 5-minute boat ride from downtown (no bridge) and you’re suddenly in the middle of the deep countryside. - Naypyidaw (capital of Myanmar): a ghost town where only one car passes every 5 minutes on the 8-lane highways. - Kuala Lumpur: Hindu temples, Chinese pagodas, Malay architecture, British colonial buildings, and ultra-modern glass towers all mixed together, making you lose your bearings.

Naypyidaw: nirvana for eco-conscious hipsters; if only they could all go there and stay...

It felt more like a dystopian version of Las Vegas or Dubai to me... Naypyidaw.....

I said that about the car every 5 minutes on the highway

- Shanghai: ultra-modern skyscrapers as far as the eye can see on one side, and on the other, families crammed 10 to a 20-square-meter studio in unsanitary buildings.

Sometimes they’re also crammed into modern apartments.

- Delhi: fortresses and mosques in ruins hiding around every corner—it’s a dream spot for budding archaeologists.

I agree.

- Srinagar (in the Kashmir region of northern India): a city where almost every building could pass for a slum (except the mosques), and where the only people who don’t look like beggars are the military and the imams.

Lol.

- Florence: the place where the quality of food varies the most in the world between tourist restaurants and local spots.

I’ll remember your wise words if I ever get the chance to go.

- Chennai: a boy and girl holding hands in public is considered an absolute horror to locals, who worship a god whose symbol is a sexual element.

So true. A typically Indian paradox. We love them for that too...

- Yangon: 5 minutes by boat from the city center to cross the river (no bridge) and you find yourself in the deep countryside.

That’s spot on, and really nice (I also love the city train tour to see something different).

And where do you live in all this ultra-caricatured scenery—like, I get myself... Your parallel between Kuala Lumpur, Delhi, and Srinagar is scathing (I get myself). The most disorienting is Srinagar, making the crowd laugh about the social and political misery of some...

Not all of Accra is empty by any means...

Michel

Melbourne: the city where locals explore the countryside by taking big leaps Munich: here, small beers are 50 cl, medium ones are 1 liter, and large ones are 2 liters. Helsinki: the city near which there are reindeer, while in Rennes there aren’t any. London: the only city where lots of locals have the same ears as the prince Amsterdam: plenty of reasons to go, but not for the quality of the local restaurants Roubaix: the city where we Belgians turned back after heading to Calais because we saw the "Pas de Calais" sign Quito: if on your bus a guy gets stopped by the army with a finger in a small box, he’s a hitman bringing back proof he completed his contract Ushuaia: you might meet a French environmentalist there who owns four cars, including a big 4x4 Bamako: Sunday is wedding day Kyiv: the city with the highest number of top models per square kilometer.

And where do you live in all this ultra-caricatured scenery—I get what I mean... Your comparison between Kuala Lumpur, Delhi, and Srinagar is scathing (I get what I mean)... The most disorienting is Srinagar, making the crowd laugh about the social and political misery of others....

You’ve got to be able to laugh about everything... (while staying aware of the reality of the facts.....)

Amsterdam: plenty of reasons to go, but not for the quality of the local restaurants

For the tulips, I guess... 😉

For the tulips, I suppose...

In Amsterdam, there are ladies...

Yes and no... I don't know if you follow the news, but the Kashmiris are really suffering... I've never seen anything as refined as Srinagar in India, especially the interiors, the carpets, the embroidery. And now, construction or renovation permits are no longer granted to Kashmiris—that's what it's really about.... I was there in 1995... Nonis, I stand by it—his caricatured description is biased and, in this case, too superficial... but he did say it's a caricature, so...

Yes and no... I don’t know if you follow the news, but the Kashmiris are really suffering... I’ve never seen anything as refined as Srinagar in India, especially the interiors, the carpets, the embroidery. But construction or renovation permits are no longer granted to Kashmiris—that’s what this is really about.... I was there in 1995... Nonis, I stand by it—his caricatured description is biased and, on top of that, too superficial for this one... though he does say it’s a caricature, so...

You really have to (well, I think so) take it as a caricature... and I hope everyone understood that and won’t stop at this brief description....

Yes and no... I don't know if you follow the news, but the Kashmiris are really suffering... I've never seen anything as refined as Srinagar in India, especially the interiors, the carpets, the embroidery, and construction or renovation permits are no longer granted to Kashmiris—that's what it's really about.... I was there in 1995.

Makes you wonder what he actually saw... Personally, I have great memories of Srinagar and especially Dal Lake and its houseboats. There were practically no tourists at the time when I passed through on my way back from a trek in Zanskar (conflict with Pakistan), and I felt like I was bathing in luxury (all relative, of course) after 3 very spartan weeks in the mountains... Full board on a houseboat (hearty and excellent meals), a comfortable+ room, and boat rides on the lake cost just a handful of rupees! The hardest part was leaving by plane. I had to scheme my way into the airport (guarded like a prison by loads of military!) because you needed a flight reservation, and I only had an open ticket!

Well, of course, the Kashmiris really know how to charm you... with just about anything. I was offered chocolates in the middle of summer, flower seeds to plant, maybe water skiing on a board, visits to magnificent gardens, outings to green ski resorts (admittedly in summer) with horseback rides, tours of carpet manufacturers (obviously for trade) with incredible knot density, amazing woodcraft, semi-precious stones, and suggestions for guided tours like a boat ride on Nagin Lake with swimming... all in a cozy and complex setting. Then, the only ones who literally mocked us were those pesky green-clad guys who, because they were in a group, made fun of the tourist wandering around here.... In the evening, we were served delicious cuisine on the boat. There was a retired German couple living in Australia, and breakfasts were served on refined tableware with new suggestions every morning... I know it’s classic, but as you said, after a trip to Ladakh, the contrast was striking. Between us, I don’t understand why people are so captivated by Ladakh... You might say it reminds me of an employee from an internship I did in the Middle East who retorted: "What do you find beautiful about going to see a pile of sand in the desert?" I mention it because it was his English managers who gave me the *Lonely Planet India* as a farewell gift, which led me all the way up there. Well, there’s always somewhere higher and farther—I still dream about it... like Shalimar.

, I don’t get why people are so captivated by Ladakh... you’d think it reminds me of an intern I had in the Middle East who shot back: "What’s so great about going to see a pile of sand in the desert?"

First off, it’s high mountain territory (Ladakh and Zanskar), and mountains—trekking, climbing, mountaineering—are totally my thing. But even more than that, Ladakh, and especially Zanskar (less touristy), are the last refuges of a Tibetan culture that’s disappearing... In Chinese Tibet, Tibetan Buddhist culture has become nothing more than folklore. What’s left are these small "states" that were once part of the "Greater Tibet" (before Western powers carved it up), where traditions still live on: Zanskar, Rupshu, Spiti in the west, and Sikkim and Bhutan in the east. In Nepal, Mustang and Dolpo are two "Beyul" (hidden lands of Tibetan culture)... These are incredible regions that still feel a bit timeless because, until just a few years ago, there were no roads or drivable tracks leading there. You had to get there on foot...

Well yeah, back then I had to go on a trek in the Annapurnas, but for administrative reasons (I didn’t get a multiple-entry India visa from the UAE since I wasn’t a resident), so I made up my mind—I don’t regret it at all. The mistake was going back to India, but in the south... it’s nice, but for me, as the Canadians say, it’s *plate*... anyway, I’d love to go back up there, but more in Baltistan...

Since Mr Travel1234 slipped away, I’ll try to continue this list 😛:

*Paris: the only city in the world where waiters are rude. But who would go for a drink at Café de Flore with those outrageous prices?

*Pisa: the architect who designed the tower must’ve messed up his calculations.

*New York: Will Smith tells us in one of his songs that it’s the city that never sleeps. All New Yorkers are on sleeping pills.

*Bucharest: the parliament is a stroke of genius. With Romania’s harsh winters, heating that monstrous building must cost a fortune.

*Ottawa: same remark as above.

*Naples: the little game is seeing how long you can walk down the street before your wallet gets stolen.

Stockholm: the city where Holger Nilsson’s son is named Nils Holgersson Mecca: visited in a concentric manner Phnom Penh: capital of the most recent Chinese state to date Los Angeles: the sidewalks are like our highways, so the roads... Paris: the world capital of protests Auckland: and its factories of squashed balloons. When people jump on them, you become a hobbit. Marrakech: locals offer you "funny tobacco" Wuhan: research isn’t restricted there. Major biological innovation hub. Typical markets. Clean streets. Lhasa: remarkable for the speed of evolution of its human reservoir. In two generations, Tibetans have transformed into Chinese.

Since Mr Travel1234 slipped away

Given how some people are acting all high and mighty, it’s no wonder our friend dipped out 😛

it’s not really their thing to reply

it’s not really his thing to reply

Maybe he does it in a private message? 😛

not me, at least. And what would be the purpose?

New York nicknamed the Big Apple. And yet the headquarters of the high-tech multinational is in Cupertino in Silicon Valley, California

Definitely not mine, anyway. And what would be the point?

I’ll refer you to message 20.

I think that’s a misinterpretation. I did the same as this young man, and like him, with a bit of humor. Maybe he’s preparing his second series of cities :)

Rome: headquarters of a once-thriving cult Los Angeles: Olympic city and barbecue capital Pyongyang: the city where only one resident is overweight Damascus: the capital of a country with few trees, yet called Syria Geneva: the world capital of safes Brussels: the most important foreign city in Belgium Caracas: the birthplace of Carglass, capital of the caracal

Washington: it’s the only place in the world where the president can be named Donald. Orlando: you’ll find a Donald there too, but he’s not the president. Algiers: still fighting colonization without realizing it’s been independent for 60 years. Singapore: a nightmare for those who aren’t eco-conscious.