Why do we always think that "ELSEWHERE" is better than our own country? (page 3 of 23)

It’s not easy to answer this question. Elsewhere often seems better simply because it’s new. Once the novelty wears off (for example, if you live somewhere else long enough), you start to see the attractions and shortcomings of your own home more clearly. Every culture has its strengths and weaknesses. There’s no such thing as an ideal culture. Some are more favorable for women’s empowerment, others are more permissive for men, some promote healthy eating or harmony with nature, while others prioritize the collective over the individual. Our views on this depend on our age, gender, cultural background, financial situation, and current needs. Poor countries can be paradise for the rich. Western countries are often mistakenly seen as an eldorado by citizens of poorer nations. Personally, I feel stifled by the over-regulation in our Western countries and really appreciate living and driving in places that are less organized. But when I see that a wealthy driver in a country like Cambodia can hit a poor person and get away with it by paying less than $500 to the victim’s family, I realize my own country has a lot more to offer. I love that in poorer countries, I can get basic medical services for a reasonable cost without waiting in line like I would at home. On the other hand, I know that if I ever needed advanced treatment, it would be better in my own country. There’s no paradise on Earth—just places and people to discover and appreciate for a time. When you’re sick, you always want to return to your roots. That said, when you’re healthy, you should take the chance to explore the diversity of landscapes and cultures around the world. And above all, never go elsewhere assuming your culture is superior to others. What works for us might not work in another context. It’s important to keep an open mind and not judge others based on our own beliefs and habits. Easier said than done, though.

😎Hi Jupitéria

I think when we travel, we also explore other facets of our personality and temperament—we don’t see things the same way.

Personally, I’m in love with Asia, but I stay very clear-eyed. I realize we have plenty of reasons to be happy living in France... our social rights, for example (even if they’re eroding due to abuses), our working hours (across Asia, people don’t get paid leave—or very little—and don’t have set weekly hours; they work hard).

I complain—believe me—about the weather, which I don’t like, especially in the Paris region... but monsoons are tough, and at least for now, our climate remains relatively stable.

Of course, the French are chronic complainers, and I’m no exception... I grumble about politicians—though I won’t risk prison for it—I moan about public transport (but I know we’re well-served, at least in cities), I gripe about immigration, and a whole bunch of other things. Yes, there’s ageism, racism against older people, and against the attractive, our endless grievances... but France is still a pretty privileged country, even if those in power try to make us believe otherwise every day.

I still feel more welcome in Asia than tourists do in France (especially in Paris), but isn’t that an illusion? And as someone who’s crazy about animals, it’s not always a dream here—but when I see the conditions animals endure in Asia (most of the time), I feel pretty awful.

Best regards,

As soon as I get back to France, I think to myself, "it's better elsewhere." IS IT REALLY BETTER ELSEWHERE?😏😏😏

I think you feel better elsewhere because you're on vacation there, whereas in France, you're working. Take a vacation in France—you'll see you get that same sense of freedom.

You're absolutely right, unfortunately!

I think every traveler feels this at some point or another... Who hasn't thought, "I'd love to settle down here, to live here." My life experience led me to leave France for about ten years, and I loved that period, which I don’t call expatriation because the country where I lived became my home—I learned the language, worked there, and my daughter was born there... I wanted to stay forever, and only a difficult political situation made me give up, as it’s a Middle Eastern country. I didn’t want to take the risk of raising my daughter in that tense climate, so I came back.

But even though I loved that country, I found politics, power, grumps, jealous people, the greedy, and my life wasn’t any simpler or more authentic. I had problems, professional difficulties, anxieties—just the same as anywhere. It’s just life in society. Wherever you go, there’s a core of human nature that stays the same. I didn’t meet people rejecting modernity (the Bedouins have had cell phones and TV for a long time). In the East, many people envy our individualism, what you call "isolation" or "indifference," because they dream of living without the whole neighborhood or family meddling in their business. A little indifference would be a relief for them! As for what you call "racism" against the elderly, the weak, or the beautiful (I hadn’t heard of that last one), don’t forget that in France, society is organized so that as few people as possible are left behind. It doesn’t always work, but the intention is there and recognized by all. In the country where I lived, when you’re old, you’d better have children who love you and are willing to take care of you—otherwise... the same goes if you’re sick or need care (15 years ago, I paid $10,000 to give birth, 3 days in the hospital with no complications... luckily, money wasn’t an issue, but still). And I won’t even get into the cost of pediatric consultations, but I totally understand those who take the opportunity to get treated in France while traveling. In conclusion, I’d say NO, it’s not better ELSEWHERE—it’s just different. You can have an extraordinary experience in another country; you should try it. But don’t idealize elsewhere. Being a traveler passing through (even if you stay for months) and living in a country after cutting ties with France are two very different things.

Good evening, I totally agree with you—200%! I’ve been living in Canada for over a year now, and I’ve felt (and still feel) the same things you’re describing. Even with the crisis and its flaws, France isn’t so bad after all.

Hello Jupiteria, I think the answer to your question is personal. There are coral or rock fish that only find safety by staying close to the rock that serves as their refuge. For fast-water fish, it's a different adventure. Migratory creatures of all kinds (if we can say that) find, at the right time, their salvation in elsewhere, which shouldn’t stop them from appreciating the good spots. What I’m certain of is that when you can afford to travel, it really gets your neurons firing. For me, the best trips are those where you decide the itinerary yourself, find the means of transport, the lodgings, share food with locals, strike up conversations, make friends along the way, take an interest in their lives, outsmart the predators with a smile, help if possible, and face nature head-on. Then, when you return to France after admiring how other peoples adapt to incredible living conditions, recognizing their courage and intelligence as at least equal to ours, you realize the French are sulking like spoiled brats. But you have to admit, seeing from the plane the layout of our villages clustered around a church steeple and all that bears witness to the past is moving. So, for me, traveling is an undeniable plus—essential or not. But seeking elsewhere at all costs is simply unwise.

Isn’t the main thing that "somewhere else" is just different from home?

No need for your backpacking advice about France..... Who do you think you are...!!! And with your two-bit criticisms on this forum, it wasn’t even worth writing such long posts just to vent your frustrations on everyone’s opinions. We all have the right—and THE DUTY—to express ourselves freely, so keep your JUDGMENTS to yourself—WE DON’T CARE....... Why don’t you set down *your* backpack for a bit.... it looks heavy to carry...!!! Probably the weight of your stupidity.

I went on vacation in France, thanks for the tip.....!

What Silviasenva wrote doesn’t deserve the tone and vocabulary of your reply😐

Totally agree. I was about to react the same way. The comment in question was certainly long and tough to get through, but it didn’t seem ill-intentioned.

Thank you for finding the right words to say what I’d felt myself. Best regards. And also kudos for your photo at the Chile-Argentina border—it’s absolutely stunning!!!

We all have the right and THE DUTY to express ourselves freely, as long as your JUDGMENTS don’t concern us.......so why don’t you put down your backpack for a bit....it seems heavy to carry...!!! probably the weight of your Stupidity.

How to say everything and its opposite....

It’s too bad the proposition was interesting and Sylveanna’s response just as much....in the end, you weren’t looking for answers to your questions....

😉 Maybe the professorial tone didn’t sit well with her, and the childish advice too? (in the PS/) Re-examining the original post and the idea of "elsewhere" as a dream or desire compared to the daily struggles in France (as shown by the constant polls on French morale, which keep seesawing). She’s not the only one who feels better when traveling (elsewhere), especially since coming back is inevitable (life’s obligations).

Regarding the proposal, what’s your contribution to the topic besides rehashing and undoing things?

I’m extremely shocked by your tone. I must’ve touched a nerve without even meaning to—believe me, if I’d wanted to hurt you, you’d be in a lot more pain.

Where exactly did you read any "judgments"? As for my nerves, they’ve been calm for quite a while now, so maybe look in the mirror first.

That you don’t like what I write is one thing, but that you’re being dishonest *and* rude is another. I won’t tolerate you speaking to me like this. For your information, I took the time to offer you a different perspective since you *asked* for opinions. Most adults take what they like and leave the rest.

You just answered your own discontent. What have your "elsewheres" taught you? Clearly, not much...

Try the psychiatric hospital

Good riddance, and stay far away, please :)))

As soon as I return to France, I tell myself, "it's better elsewhere." Where we went, I feel a kind of lightness in living, fewer restrictions, less pressure, less sadness, and I catch myself dreaming of somewhere else—living elsewhere, a simpler, more authentic life, with colors, color everywhere: markets, clothes, homes, and so on...!!! Meeting souls, real, gentle, kind people, and letting go completely of all this modernism, this technological excess, the indifference toward others, confinement, the racism against the elderly in France, against the poor, the weak, the beautiful, the handsome, etc... etc... fleeing the news, politics, jealousy, meanness, stupidity, greed. And in my moments of clarity, I tell myself that in the end, there are pros and cons in every country, every city, and that the best of all worlds may not be down here, and then I also tell myself that you have to know how to COME BACK in order to LEAVE better, but still...!!! IS IT REALLY BETTER ELSEWHERE?😏😏😏

Okay, there we go with the usual clichés again 😠😠. Why do we always want to generalize so much and take the worst behaviors of a few to make them a universal truth? Not all French people are like this or that! Why this masochistic attitude of always wanting to put down our beautiful France? Sure, it’s not perfect, just like every other country.

To bounce back on the debate between Aveyron and Kedor about the status of women, sure, it might still be more enviable elsewhere. But in most countries, that’s not the case. Kedor only supports his arguments by citing cases where it’s better. And he takes the example of a "business woman" greedy for money who works herself to death. That’s hardly representative of French women 😠. Tell us about Saudi Arabia, for example... About the practice of female genital mutilation, forced marriages, "honor" crimes where you’re burned alive or have acid thrown at you... So yes, women are still much better off in France than in many other countries in the world 😎

😉 I get your point, but that wasn’t the original intent. You’re drawing a parallel between a conversation about "women" and the original post to ultimately say that France isn’t so bad. I agree! But! But! It depends on who you are. For many different reasons—unrelated to women, referring back to the original post—it can be really tough to live in France right now, just like in much of Europe (and of course, this depends on a lot of factors). What bothers me is that some people are struggling while others spend their time badmouthing those who are barely keeping their heads above water financially or mentally day in, day out. France is beautiful, but it can be tough in everyday life—work, environment, and so on... Right now, it’s hard to ignore the difficulties without burying your head in the sand (the vibe is pretty tense). That said, living in Paris, I realize that for some, all of this goes right over their heads, and they live, I’d say, in a "party" bubble.

I agree with you that life is tough in France for some people. As I said, not everything is perfect in France. Here too, the distribution of wealth needs to be rethought. But we still have (for how much longer?) a social system that softens things a bit. On the other hand, people can still be happy here, and not everyone spends their days obsessing over how miserable it is to live in France. So I wanted to show that on this topic, like many others, a much more nuanced view is needed...

The debate about the role of women runs parallel but has similarities.

😉The social system softens things for you or others..........For me, it doesn’t (I’m not getting into the forum debate—I don’t want to do that in writing here). So if you think this lacks nuance, the possibility for exchange is limited—the line’s already been crossed (because their opinion was pretty nuanced, and mine was too in response). I’ll quote you on the value judgment that won’t lead to dialogue: "........not everyone spends their days overanalyzing the misery of living in France..."

🏴‍☠️For women in France, I wouldn’t even try to compare with countries that have barbaric or restrictive practices—but even in France, it’s not easy for women to live freely in many places, whether it’s about daily speech or clothing (yeah, sure, it’s always worse elsewhere). Here again, I’m not going to pull out stats on the number of women reporting rapes or the many who die from domestic violence every year, or other cheerful, recurring issues in the suburbs of big cities. It’s not black and white—it’s full of nuance, really. Observe, acknowledge, and maybe help things move toward something better.