Why do we always think that "ELSEWHERE" is better than our own country?
FR

Translated into English.

Original post
JU
As soon as I return to France, I catch myself thinking, "it’s better elsewhere." Wherever we’ve been, I feel this lightness of living—less restriction, less pressure, less sadness—and I start dreaming of somewhere else, of living somewhere else, a simpler life, more authentic, with colors everywhere: markets, clothes, homes...!!! Meeting kindred spirits, genuine people, gentle and kind, and letting go of all this modernism, this technological rat race, the indifference toward others, the confinement, the racism against the elderly in France, against the poor, the weak, the beautiful... fleeing the news, politics, jealousy, meanness, stupidity, greed... And in my moments of clarity, I tell myself that every country, every city has its pros and cons, and that maybe the best of all worlds isn’t down here. But I also remind myself that you have to know how to COME BACK in order to LEAVE again... yet still...!!! IS IT REALLY BETTER ELSEWHERE?😏😏😏
AM Americas Veteran ·
Hi Juliette,

That’s a great reflection on everyday life and the questions I used to ask myself when traveling in Latin America or elsewhere, searching for something I wasn’t getting while living in France. When I returned home, I often felt nostalgia for the countries and people I’d discovered during my travels.

Then, while living in a country other than my own, I—like most residents—"learned" to criticize what didn’t work the way I wanted, to dislike certain aspects of the society around me, and sometimes even to think that the country I’d left wasn’t as dull as I’d imagined.

When traveling for a few weeks or months in a country that isn’t your own, you often have an idealized image of the places you were so determined to discover, no matter what style of travel you use. The backpacker will likely get closer to the local population and see it through a different lens than someone staying in luxury hotels and only moving around on organized tours to explore the country’s architectural wonders. But even with this way of traveling closely among the people, something fundamental is missing to truly understand the country: living like its inhabitants do every day—working with them, sharing all their daily concerns.

To the question, "Why do we always think that *elsewhere* is better than our own country?" we probably can’t answer it without having truly lived *elsewhere*—to see if anything from our home country ends up missing... and when the sum of all those little things adds up to a lot, we realize that our homeland, despite its flaws, is often much *better* than the others.
KA Kalchaqui Veteran ·
To that question "Why do we always think that 'ELSEWHERE' is better than our own country," we certainly can't answer it without having truly lived "elsewhere" to know if anything we loved about our home country ends up missing... and when the sum of all those little things adds up to a lot, we realize that the country of our roots, despite its flaws, is often much "better" than the others.

Totally agree...
CI Citipati Veteran ·
From my perspective, this reflection really only holds true for "relatively" short trips (a few months at most), because you quickly start to see the limits of that societal detachment. It also assumes you're in good health.

Take Nepal, for example:

I feel particularly at ease and detached from any material needs when I'm there. Simply because all those French administrative "duties" are absent—no taxes, no TV license fees, no random paperwork X or Y, no EDF/GDF bills, no internet contracts. Life is simpler in a way. But when I had to register as a student at KTM University and open a bank account, believe me, I needed all the help from my Nepali contacts to navigate that administration, which is horribly more difficult (and corrupt) than our good old France.

Likewise, being sick in France versus Nepal... There’s a huge gap between the two. I hope you never have to deal with anything more serious than a cold in Nepal. It gets expensive fast at the country’s only well-equipped clinic, or you have to be ready to step back 80 years and endure the crowds at Bir Hospital (Kathmandu’s public hospital, just to give a concrete example).

Having lived through this, I’ve really come to put expatriation and the idea of "it’s always better elsewhere" into perspective. You have to accept that, while we may find plenty of flaws in our everyday lives, there are also plenty of advantages alongside them.
JE Jeanbrfr Veteran ·
For me, elsewhere is inside us—within our visions, our sensitivity, our openness, and our ability to manage these different elements 😉

I took the liberty of broadening the idea: elsewhere is what we don’t know 😎 And it’s often wonderful 😎
JU Jupiteria ·
Thanks for your feedback—it’s wise and realistic. So, I guess I’ll just keep dreaming...!!! Take care.
JU Jupiteria ·
"It seems to me that elsewhere is what we don’t know" Yes, just like the Little Prince of Saint-Exupéry...!!! Philosophical thoughts... yes, but that wonderful elsewhere in our minds might magically end up existing... WHO KNOWS...!!!
VI Viléna Veteran ·
For me, elsewhere lies within us

Knowing yourself is quite a journey... 🙂

It seems to me that elsewhere is what we don’t know

True... But do we really know here?
HE Henridusud Globetrotter ·
Many people believe that life is better somewhere else than in their own country—these are the economic migrants who come from the Global South (Africa or Latin America) to the Global North (Europe or North America). They must have their reasons....
AT Atila Globetrotter ·
As soon as I return to France, I tell myself "it's better elsewhere."

Personally, I tend to think: "how lucky I am to have been born in France!"

Oh well...😉
JE Jeanbrfr Veteran ·
yeah, but that elsewhere we imagine as so wonderful might just magically come true... WHO KNOWS...!!!

Yeah, for me that would be the goal 😎
JE Jeanbrfr Veteran ·
True... But do we really know the here?

Not really—we actually don’t know much. We have a lot of information but very little experience 😉
KE Kedor Globetrotter ·
Hey Pierre-Yv,

Even though I appreciate your perspective, I still want to remind you that there isn’t just one "elsewhere"—there are countless. As Le Chat put it, "elsewheres" are everywhere, except here. When you live in France, for example, you just have to go to another European country to be somewhere else, without necessarily rushing off to the poorest countries on the planet. And why wouldn’t things be better elsewhere? In some cases, the job market might be more forgiving, the healthcare system more efficient, the bureaucracy less overwhelming—sometimes all of that can even come together. And then, that "elsewhere" you visited, even just for a trip, can feel really appealing...
KO Kola Globetrotter ·
There's something odd about that capitalized ELSEWHERE—the one this discussion is about. It feels like a fantasized place, an imagined location that we shouldn’t actually reach...

"It was better before." "It’s better somewhere else..." The past or some distant place with a softened reality, refuge spots that some would dream of escaping to when, here and now, daily life feels too heavy.
DJ Djalma Globetrotter ·
For me, elsewhere is within us, in our visions, our sensitivity, our openness, our knowledge in managing these different components 😉

I took the liberty of broadening the proposition—it seems to me that elsewhere is what we don’t know 😎 And it’s often wonderful 😎

I totally share this opinion... Could this "country" we search for, covet, and fantasize about—this "Shangri-La"—simply be a hidden part of our soul? A piece of our deepest personality, buried by life’s circumstances, education, rejection by others, exclusion, or even racism for some? And could all our travels in the "real" world toward this longed-for elsewhere actually just be a transposition into our so-called "real" world of a need for an "inner journey"? A quest into the depths of ourselves, searching for those forgotten pieces of who we are?

I spent my childhood in the gloom of one of the most sordid housing projects in the inner suburbs of Paris; everything I saw around me was nothing but ugliness... Years later, in my nighttime dreams, I’ve often found myself wandering those same soulless streets of my childhood neighborhood, which I’d circled so many times I knew them by heart—there was nothing new to discover, and yet... around the corner of an alley, a vacant lot would suddenly appear, and I’d head toward it... After a few hundred meters... Oh! Surprise! A wonderful landscape would emerge—a hidden valley bursting with a thousand colors and intoxicating scents, with pure water fountains, trees laden with exotic fruit, houses with astonishing architecture inhabited by joyful people—basically, a kind of Paradise. In my dream, I’d ask myself: "How is it that you never discovered this place sooner, when it was so close to home?" Couldn’t this elsewhere simply be an unknown part of our inner being, suddenly surfacing at certain opportune moments in our lives—one that simply deserves our attention and consideration?
OL Olilie ·
Isn’t the important thing finding a place where you feel good? Whether it’s in your home country or somewhere else... Every place has its strengths and weaknesses, just like each of us. For everyone, it’s always better somewhere else—like that old saying, "It was better before, in my day..." The unknown makes us dream, while we know our own home, which can be reassuring too... Is "elsewhere" really better? Something to think about...
AV Aveyron Regular ·
hello, we think the same way... when we return to our farm, we're happy to find our work and our animals again, even though our travels around the world have enchanted us. We love leaving, and we love coming back... but in three years, we'll be leaving to work elsewhere... probably somewhere sunny... Is it better elsewhere? Not necessarily—happiness is within us! We're happy in Aveyron because we chose to be, despite the rain... despite the drop in prices for our products, despite all kinds of profiteers... so we'll be happy wherever we decide to go... The only thing I'm aware of is that, as a woman, we're happiest in France... Freedom to live, to think, to dress—and we need to be aware of that. Happy travels!

Nadine Lescure and Patric Lescure
KE Kedor Globetrotter ·
The only thing I'm aware of is that as women, we're happiest in France..

Oh really? Are you sure?
AV Aveyron Regular ·
oh yes, I'm sure of it.. give me examples to the contrary.. but above all: you have to be a free woman—or not even a man—to talk about it, right?
H3 H3don1st ·
Hi Juliette,

I’ve often had the same thought after returning from trips, and I agree with most of the replies about idealizing "elsewhere." It’s human nature, after all—if we actually moved to a country where we feel great on vacation and started living and working like the locals, we’d probably end up finding things to complain about in our new daily life.

So what’s the solution? Constant movement to avoid getting used to anything? Always skimming the surface to stay amazed without growing jaded? Or, as some say, is happiness something we declare? Is happiness, as Saint Augustine put it, about continuing to desire what we already have? I think everyone has to find their own answer.

For me, I’ve just dropped everything and I’m setting off on a year-long (minimum) trip around the world, hoping the perspective I gain will help me see my idea of happiness a little more clearly.

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