Sunday, October 1st, 2023
Mulhouse-London
We dumped our trash on our neighbors. We hugged, overflowing with emotion. Then Léa from Taxis S showed up. She knows us well. For ages, she’s been our driver. She was practically the official taxiwoman for the trips of the company where Dom and I met. She knew us when we were single! Almost teenagers! She knows everyone and fills in the biographies of people we’d forgotten.
Across the street, while we loaded the luggage, S., perched in his window frame, waved a handkerchief. This wasn’t just any trip.
Then things got tricky. It’s funny how fate sinks its teeth into our happy moments—there’s this whole intermediate phase where the poison seeps in unnoticed because you’re still in the dark...
First, there was a delay on our flight to London. Dom immediately went on high alert, while I stayed calm. In my mind, we had two hours. I knew we had to go from Terminal 5 to Terminal 4, but two hours—come on, that’s plenty, right?
Bad calculation! Because those two hours were between the first flight’s landing and the second’s takeoff. But flights close at least half an hour before departure.
Getting from one terminal to another means taking a shuttle bus. We waited for the one going to Terminal 4... until a young guy paid to direct people (who hadn’t seen us) informed us it was no longer possible to access Terminal 4 without going through Terminal 2 first for a connection!
That really cranked up the pressure. We started installing a mental countdown with a programmed explosion at the end—guaranteed stress with added beads of sweat. The terminal bus was driven by a young Pakistani guy. We were *so* tense we bombarded him with our frantic, repetitive questions. “So? When are we getting there? What’s happening? Why aren’t we moving?” Our eyes were glued to our watches. The poor guy knew. Perfectly. Because it was obvious—no way around it. We weren’t going to make it. It was impossible. But Dom and I stubbornly refused to believe it.
Then the kid stopped the bus. Me, hysterical: “What are you doing? What’s going on? Our plane takes off in... in... 4 minutes!!!! We’re gonna miss iiiiiit!” He wasn’t calm either. “You’ve already missed it!” He explained we had to cross a zone that required an escort car to clear a path through the runways. Impossible to do without. It’s forbidden. We had to WAIT (!!!). Then he got a radio call—he had to rush to Terminal 3 to pick up a passenger who was *super* tight on time. “Amir!!!! It’s RIGHT NOW!” they yelled in his already-red ears, thanks to the complaints of two hysterical Frenchies.
Dom and I were in overdrive, hallucinating! We wanted to stop him, maybe even hit him to prevent him from turning around. He picked up the girl, whom we instantly hated like the most despicable witch. I turned on my data, searched for Malaysia Airlines’ number at Terminal 4, called, and actually got someone—quite a feat. A woman cut off my frantic rambling with a blunt “It’s over, the check-in is closed, the plane is about to take off.” I heard her but refused to accept it. I yelled, “We’re coming!” She shot back her monolithic “It’s over.”
Finally at the doors of that damn Terminal 4, we ran—*really* ran—a marathon, Gate 6, security checks, pat-downs, “Take off your belts,” we asked questions, everyone seemed confident, we ran with one hand holding up our pants, the other clutching our belt, Gate 6—the room was empty. A girl was sitting there, calmly on the phone. We pounced on her. She calmed us down. Little by little, the light came back. Our brains rebooted. We finally understood it was over. We’d have to start crafting a new plan with the new reality.
It started with a return to Terminal 5 to talk to British Airways, which took a good hour. With the same driver as before. We were alone with him. He took the time to apologize, to assure us it wasn’t his fault, that our problem had no solution, that nothing could’ve changed the outcome.
At BA, we were exhausted. We were greeted by a handsome young man in a navy-blue uniform with gold stripes everywhere. We could’ve made a scene, but we were just relieved to find someone who’d take charge of our story. It was a minimal response, but it was *a* response. I suppose we could’ve demanded a business-class upgrade or a free trip, but we were just happy with a few vouchers for food, a hotel room with breakfast, and a little bag with plastic toys, a razor, toothbrush, hygiene products, and a T-shirt... Trinkets... But we were fine with it all—we said thank you eagerly because the essential was assured. He found us seats on flights tomorrow. *Tomorrow.* We were afraid to hope! We had the exact same flights but a day later. The same crappy times, but it was all good. We felt saved from the shipwreck, like survivors.
- And what about the luggage?
- .... !!!!
Monday, October 2nd, 2023
London - Kuala Lumpur
It wasn’t the Ritz, but with exhaustion on our side, we slept well. The continental breakfast was way better than we’d expected from an Ibis Budget. Still, it wasn’t enough to restore my joy for life. The course correction had turned into an arduous obstacle course. I scoured the car rental site every which way. Couldn’t reschedule the car. I’d done it before, but this time... Not to mention the laptop battery was complaining—the Brits have this quirk of making their power outlets incompatible with our chargers. Frustrated, I called them but ended up with a girl who declared herself incompetent and offered to have someone from Avis in Perth call me back—someone who’d supposedly handle rentals better. I decided to wait while taking a bath. Barely settled in, the phone rang. I was soaking wet, of course, and asked Dom to answer. Unfortunately, she’s known for disliking my phone, and in a clumsy move, she hung up. We got annoyed. She put dry towels on the edge of the bathtub, but—another false move—they fell in the water. The phone rang again...
I completely redid the plans for the next two days, then transferred the files to my phone to consult them later offline. I plugged in my USB cable... *Plop!* The battery died abruptly—my PC shut down without any of the usual polite warnings! I looked around, hoping to find someone to strangle...
Long story short, you can tell the day started under the worst omens. I was in a foul mood and spread my bad vibes to Dominique, who was initially in much better spirits...
I called Mastercard, hoping to get a refund for the non-refundable night in Perth we’d already paid for. Same old song: “We’ll call you back”...
Then... I’ll cut it short—buses, trains, lots of waiting... We rushed to reach the infamous Terminal 4.
We tried new options and convinced ourselves that a delayed departure flight is unrecoverable, no matter the scenario. We were furious that BA hadn’t bothered to tell us, leaving us to run around like rats in a burning house.
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023
Kuala Lumpur-Perth
The flight was pretty nice. 13 hours, though. Dom and I were facing each other across the aisle. We could get up easily whenever we wanted without bothering anyone and chat when we felt like it. Besides, their chicken was amazing. They were kind enough to offer Dom a truly remarkable glass of rum. Good movies too, including the excellent *Prisoners* by Denis Villeneuve.
At KL, during boarding, we developed a nagging worry about our luggage. We checked with some Malaysian Airlines staff. I sensed their hesitation. They made calls. Then changed their minds, giving us smiles and thumbs up...
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023
Perth
*Happy is the man who, like Ulysses, has had a fine voyage.*
Well, for us, it wasn’t that.
Finally arrived, we experienced the loneliness of tourists watching the baggage carousel spin, emptying of its precious containers one by one, until only a handful of travelers were left, staring at each other in disbelief. Without luggage, you’re kinda screwed. Not even a change of socks—our feet had been swimming in the same shoes for 3 days. No adapter, so no laptop. No toiletries. We could’ve cried!
The lost luggage guy played his part. If you want compensation, fill out the disclaimer on the website made for that. And then, “Don’t worry, your luggage will arrive tomorrow!”
“Don’t worry?!” From the start of the trip, we’ve been jerked around, fed lies. Tomorrow is the *absolute* last chance to get them back. Beyond that, we’d have to scramble a whole new trip. And lose a lot in the process! I have no idea how to go about it. Tomorrow... OMG... Tomorrow...
We landed at 1 AM. Avis, the car rental place, opens at 6:30. Luckily, we found some decent breakfast. It cheered us up and gave us a second wind. Incorrigible, we started believing again!
Well, then we just killed time. What else was there to do?
In front of Avis’s little shack, we were freezing. We’d been there since dawn. The girl who showed up, a Latina, immediately saw us as a nuisance who’d ruin her hopes of a peaceful start. Her face and tone were as unwelcoming as possible. You know us—it ended with hugs. She gave us a gorgeous, brand-new car! A hybrid with ultra-sophisticated features, all buttons you shouldn’t touch if you want to drive this thing without causing irreparable damage!
We’re off! Driving on the left is easy at first. You think about it constantly. It’s counterintuitive, it takes effort. It’s later, when you get used to it and confidence sets in, that it becomes dangerous—old reflexes can send you into a wall. Anyway, the car and I immediately clicked.
In Perth, underground parking next to the hotel, friendly welcome—we ended up forgetting all the morning’s mishaps. Should we go sightseeing?
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