Understanding the World
FR

Translated into English.

Original post
PA
hello to all travelers with their eyes wide open to the desert...

I’ve always wondered what I was "doing" on this earth. And why my father, who died a few months after I was born—a former youngest French resistance fighter—joined the First Saharan Motorized Company in Atar and spent the rest of his life repairing army engines in Algeria, Mauritania, Senegal, Mali (which didn’t exist under that name back then), Morocco, and finally Algeria, where my mother was born and raised. (Believe me, it’s not "cool" being the child of a soldier in a country occupied by France, and even less so the child of a "pied-noir.") Of course, I never got an answer: the dead don’t talk, and the army doesn’t either. But here’s the thing—I had photos... So naturally, one day I hit the road. I wanted to see, to understand. It’s thanks to VF that I was able to do a little research on crossing the Morocco-Mauritania border, and I’m grateful to its members, just as I’m grateful to all those who welcomed me on the road for 14 years. For the past few weeks, I’ve been wondering if I should talk about this or not... It turns out the Mauritanians changed my life by asking for my help... And that started as early as February 2012... (Did I owe them something? No answer to that question.) Ah, the irony—they saw me coming. But when you’re handed sick children and begged to do something, what would you have done? I’d worked in a hospital, so I knew a bit about the rules to follow. I didn’t hesitate. And well, over all these years, I met doctors, surgeons, and together we organized care, evacuations of children, training for surgeons—even trying to stop children from having to travel outside their country. It was never easy. I’d like to thank those who supported us, as well as *La Chaîne de l’Espoir*, *La Fondation Face au Monde*, and everyone who built bridges between our two countries. Unfortunately, despite the constant efforts of Mauritanian doctors and surgeons, some children couldn’t be helped in time. Today, I want to talk about four siblings—orphans of their mother—suffering from congenital glaucoma causing irreversible blindness. Their case was entrusted to me in 2020, just weeks before the big lockdown. We couldn’t do anything for them then, but when their father asked me for a gift, I rushed to my computer and wrote a story. Through a tale, the children take a great journey, explore their country, and fulfill a dream. I never thought this book would be published—it was, in 2023. This book pays tribute to Mauritania. It’s a message for those who know nothing about the hardships of life there, carrying both the harshness and beauty of an immense desert where you can travel by 4x4, bike, on foot, or by camel in complete safety. It bears witness to the kindness of Mauritanians toward travelers. As a woman traveling alone in my vehicle—a now-rusted old Mercedes that no longer runs—I had the most beautiful encounters of my life there (I’ve seen other parts of the world...). The blind children of Choum, Atar, Nouadhibou, and Nouakchott will forever be in my heart. Volunteer readers transcribed the book into a free audio version for the visually impaired. It’s available in sound libraries in France, the *Fondation Valentin Haüy*, and the Swiss Romande library. I made my last trip to Mauritania in my old 4x4 to distribute the book everywhere, especially to its heroes and the school for the visually impaired in Nouakchott. After that, I thought it was time to close the chapter because I no longer have the means or the strength to travel. My publishers chose this title for it: *The Blue Eyes of the Desert*. This publication helped a mission of Swiss volunteer ophthalmologists come to operate on glaucomas in Mauritania. I’m thrilled because they come back every year! This adventure is ending, yes—everything must come to an end—but ultimately, it was born here, on the VF site!! So yes, I had to say it: THANK YOU!!!!!
KO Kola Globetrotter ·
Sometimes life’s twists and geography take us far from our roots—some would say they bring us back—perhaps to find, without consciously realizing it, a meaning, an answer to that damn question whispering or screaming in certain minds, in certain souls: What the hell am I doing on this earth?

You can try to silence that little inner voice, and if you succeed, live a life that unfolds without (too many) obstacles.

But sometimes, maybe because of or thanks to (its bright counterpart) a hurdle, a challenge, a crossroads... your head tells your feet to start moving. The call of the long road that begins with a single step, the call of the desert, the call of the forest, the call of the written word...

So you hit the road. And when you’re in that particular energy, life lights up signs, coincidences—little guiding lights on the path to show that the chosen road is the right one. Even if you have to move mountains to clear it.

Thank you for sharing this slice of life here on VF, this devilish yet precious forum, a conduit for so many beautiful stories... Where the energy of many sometimes comes together (less and less often) spontaneously, generously, without expecting anything in return or knowing the final purpose. As if pulling invisible threads that connect, across borders, one person’s problems to another’s solutions.

Guided by a traveler with unshakable will.

By the grace of a damn question...

ooOooOOoo

It’s thanks to VF that I was able to research [...] for 14 years

Who were you before Partirester?

I wrote a story.

You can find it by clicking the title... but it would add to your post if you shared more details here (publisher, book cover, etc. :-)
PA Partirester Regular ·
hi Kola

thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for your message—its words echoing like drumbeats in tune with mine... Yes, you saw it clearly...

Yes, the trials, the inner voice, the path itself...

Thank you for your interest in this little blue book, which will slowly fade away, just as everything does one day, just as all things unravel (Ah, Gérard Manset...)

ahh, moving mountains... From these Pyrenees I still wander a bit, I see that desert and its children again...

Ah, this devilish yet precious forum, yes, it’s put me through the wringer, haha...

You ask who I was? Nothing at all, a tiny grain of sand carried by the wind, an explorer and contemplator of life, searching for its roots: Alsace, Lesotho, South Africa, Algeria on one side; Aveyron, the Sahara, the Sahel, Morocco, and Algeria on the other... a girl from nowhere and everywhere, a nurse’s daughter, a granddaughter of humanitarians.

I worked in a factory from the age of 14—back then, it felt magical, and it helped me grasp a tiny "link" in the human mechanism...

after that... It’s too long to detail... maybe in private.

As for the little blue book, it’s the only one that will be published because, sadly, my editors have abandoned me (no one in the French literary world cares about Mauritania)... Elyzad, my favorite publishing house, is based in Tunis and Paris, and for the photo...

I see you’re in Brittany... Brittany shares a history with Mauritania!!! A long and beautiful one that began with the langoustiers... I see you know Morocco—I’ll check out your travel journal... YALLA
MA Mathews Globetrotter ·
I’ve always wondered what the hell I was doing on this earth

Good evening—asking yourself that question is, in a way, asking yourself, "What meaning should I give to my own existence?" So you’re one of those Cartesian, rational minds, as opposed to irrational ones—people who see existence as random, a path strewn with obstacles. Yeah, life’s a real uphill battle 😉

My own desert experience was walking alone with my backpack, starting from Douz in Tunisia and crossing the dunes with just a few liters of water to carry. No guide, pitching my tent right in the middle of nowhere. Star-filled nights so incredible I’d never seen anything like them in my life. So obviously, this is something I’d strongly advise against doing
PA Partirester Regular ·
Good evening Mathews, thanks for your reply.. In reality, despite my Cartesian and rational side, there’s always been an unpredictable part (especially in Mauritania, hehe) and some randomness, which balanced things out... For example, in January 2012, I took a bullet in the windshield of my first vehicle, in the Western Sahara region of Morocco, against the backdrop of the Polisario-Moroccan army conflict.. In November 2012, I met a nomad woman by the side of the road who was waiting for the sky to bring her water. I gave her a ride to her camp and left her with three-quarters of my water reserves.. (photo) I spent two days with her and her children, filled with emotions and love like I’d never experienced before.. In 2015, the radiator hose burst right in the middle of the red zone in northern Mauritania (I jury-rigged it with what I had) (luckily, my rational side meant I had 80 liters of water and some tools). That same year, I had to return to France in 5 days to attend my nephew’s funeral (he was killed while riding his motorcycle on a Lyon street by a girl who didn’t know how to drive), and when I arrived in France, the head gasket blew. In 2016, I bought an old Mercedes 300 GD—another unpredictable move.. It transported solar panels, wheelchairs, sheep, and Mauritanian women until the shock absorbers nearly burst.. As for the people who’ve crossed my path, many were unpredictable too.. with good and bad surprises.. And about your solo trip into the dunes, I’ve done that several times. Yes, those incredible starry nights we’ll never forget.. Have a lovely evening!!
KA Kate Globetrotter ·
Hi there! 🙂

Then, I thought the page had to close because I no longer have the means or the strength to travel.

I really admire everything you’ve accomplished, but maybe your story doesn’t end here? You could travel differently now—just for yourself, without necessarily having a mission to carry?

Your last photo of the young woman and the little boy is stunning!
Mes photos sur Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/153304262@N05/albums "Le Temps nous égare. Le Temps nous étreint. Le Temps nous est gare. Le Temps nous est train".
PA Partirester Regular ·
A huge thank you, Kate, for your words, I had replied from my phone but my whole message disappeared! I’m giving it another shot with my crappy computer... The keyboard gives out sometimes.

The story with Mauritania isn’t over—with my friends there, we’re organizing pediatric support and medical caravans. I manage the files remotely and keep building connections.

As for traveling, I have a dream: to cycle all the way there. Others have done it, even solo women have done it... I pedal every day, but on an old racing bike that can’t fit panniers... Dreaming already takes you places!!!

The photo is part of a very long series (film) that helped raise awareness among travel and trek agencies about returning to Mauritania between 2012 and 2017 when Point Afrique reopened its Paris-Atar route... I’ll send you another picture... An unlikely encounter with a disabled camel herder who took me on a ride in the middle of nowhere, in a red zone. Just to show you that Mauritania doesn’t deserve its bad reputation...

Have a lovely evening and happy travels... (I’m going to check out yours now...)
MA Mathews Globetrotter ·
hello partirester thanks for the feedback too
MU Muriel18 Globetrotter ·
Thanks Christine for such a moving story. I also really love the photo of the mom and child 🙂
Si tu diffères de moi, mon frère, loin de me léser, tu m'enrichis (Saint Exupéry)
PA Partirester Regular ·
Thanks, Muriel! I love that Saint-Exupéry quote you put under your signature. For 10 years, I gave *The Little Prince* in a French-Arabic version to schools in Mauritania, where I organized "drawing" days... The first one was at the orphanage school of Mariem Diallo in Nouakchott (photo). *Citadelle* has long been my bedside book... Have a wonderful day...
MU Muriel18 Globetrotter ·
I love that St. Ex quote you put under your signature.

Unfortunately, I doubt this idea is widely shared in today’s world 😕.
Si tu diffères de moi, mon frère, loin de me léser, tu m'enrichis (Saint Exupéry)
PA Partirester Regular ·
yes, and I'm crying, all alone in my corner.🙁
KA Kate Globetrotter ·
No, no, you're not the only one crying. I have my spot too :(
Mes photos sur Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/153304262@N05/albums "Le Temps nous égare. Le Temps nous étreint. Le Temps nous est gare. Le Temps nous est train".
PA Partirester Regular ·
Dear Catherine, I tell myself that crying clears the eyes... If you don’t feel like crying alone and if you’re passing through Ariège, you’re welcome (I still have some Mauritanian tea to share...)
LU Lucbertrand Globetrotter ·
Hi Christine, this discussion brings back a flood of memories for me—I recognize so many key themes.

I’m the son of a *pied-noir* through my father. He was a *méhariste* doctor who traversed the Algerian desert on camelback to care for isolated indigenous communities. When he spoke about it, I understood that he truly felt he was in the right place with his mission as a practitioner. Then the Algerian War came, and he was asked to treat terrorists—or resistance fighters, depending on which side you’re on. Once they recovered, they were often executed after a trial. My father, who already had so much work with French wounded and local populations, found it incoherent to heal people only to have them shot immediately after recovery, when he could have saved lives for good, whether they were French or Algerian. He reacted strongly to his superiors.

The chaos of politics—this absurdity was carried out on the orders of the Minister of the Interior, who later became President of the Republic. Ironically, he made the abolition of the death penalty one of the shocking themes of his electoral campaign. I remember this President saying, shortly before his death, that the period of the Algerian War was the one that left him with the most remorse. But electoral imperatives, even in the long term, sometimes—perhaps often—force you to compromise your convictions. Germaine Tillion, an ethnologist specializing in Algeria and trusted by Algerians, expressed very well in her books the extremely difficult negotiations she had with the French government to stop these executions, a prerequisite imposed by the FLN to halt attacks against civilians. Despite her immense reputation as a resistance fighter and her recognized professional skills, she never had the opportunity to meet directly with the Minister of the Interior.

The desert, a theme close to my heart since I went to "hide" there for long periods, especially the Atacama Desert between Peru, Chile, Bolivia, and Argentina. Its characteristics, often between 3,700 m and 5,000 m in altitude, not to mention the peaks that tower up to nearly 7,000 m. The extreme temperature swings between day and night—from -16°C to +30°C, based on my experience. I have indelible memories of it, especially by bike, where you feel a sense of vulnerability, subject to the whims of the trail and the climate.

When you give yourself body and soul, you become a fraction of these hostile lands. Sometimes, in your tent under the relentless gusts of wind, or at a bivouac far from everything, a small pang of anxiety creeps in when the weather changes. Yes, the ever-present companion, the wind, which every afternoon becomes furious, to the point where you can no longer see your companion. This forces you to dismount to avoid accidents between bikes, as visibility drops to zero. I’ve also experienced the Gobi Desert, but not long enough to truly connect with it. Three weeks of cycling, just enough to skim 1,300 km and spark an irrepressible desire to return and dive into its heart, loyally, via unpredictable trails and water sources.

And to finish, Ariège—I know its mountains well, having explored them on foot, by bike, and on backcountry skis. The elevation gains are enormous; at the Estat, even though the summit is entirely in Spain (so not in Ariège, but so close—maybe 100 m away), you face over 2,000 m of ascent. I usually encountered no one on these peaks. Mont Rouch, a vast stone desert, imposing with an 1,800 m elevation gain if my memory serves me right. Many others—the Valier with its pyramidal shape, Maubermé and its aerial off-trail ascent, Certascan evoking a sense of isolation, the Trois Comtes and its magnificent lakes that "sing" like whales in winter—and the list goes on. On the HRP (Haute Route Pyrénéenne), this tightrope-walker’s sensation of balancing on a razor’s edge, one foot in France and the other in Spain, with two very different climates and incredible contrasts. Memories of being far away, taking beautiful risks on skis, especially alone—maximum concentration, as a fall would be unforgiving, but total bliss. The desire to pause time as it passes. In extremely dangerous situations, you contemplate death, and when it doesn’t come, you realize you still have an eternity to live—the relativity of time slipping away. I don’t think my legs are up to tackling those immense, steep ski slopes anymore, often icy (back then), dotted with sudden drops and rocky barriers. No room for regrets; it’s healthy to accept aging to avoid ending up bitter and in a psychiatric hospital, like one of my friends.

This discussion makes me travel, and then there’s Saint-Ex, who is part of my old Air Force circle. Now the *Armée de l’Air et de l’Espace*, war evolves and specializes.

"What matters is the journey, for it endures—not the destination, which is merely the traveler’s illusion."
PA Partirester Regular ·
good evening Luc

what words! what a text! what memories! what travels!!! thank you for responding to my reflections... I’m also the daughter of a *pied-noir*. And of a méhariste mechanic who crossed paths with quite a few méharistes on camelback, though in the Sahelian region based on the saddles identified by my friends in the Mauritanian army. Your father’s memory reminds me of my own... Painful, traumatic. My father, who passed away a few months after I was born, had taken part in missions in Algeria, and it had driven him mad (he’d already lost his mind after his years in the Resistance and the liberation of France). A mission in Río de Oro (Western Sahara, now Moroccan) had also left a deep mark on him... I burned all his writings and photographs about Algeria because I’ll never have answers to my questions... I grew up thinking my father had been a murderer, and I still don’t understand how a man could have taken part in the liberation of France and what I consider assassinations in an occupied country... When I obtained a copy of his military journal, I saw that in 1962 he’d spent time in the military hospital in Marseille for depression... And was relieved of his duties... What you write about your father reminds me of months—maybe years—of research I devoted to studying Algeria’s history up to its independence... You’ve struck a chord with me... So I’ll get back to you privately tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll watch the stars streak across the sky... at the foot of the Ariège Pyrenees, where every name you mention brings back memories of my long hikes... and where the sky seems just as beautiful and spectacular as in the desert, making me forget all the wars. Your Mont Cervin, painted by your father, reminds me of a painting my grandmother loved, similar to yours...
PA Partirester Regular ·
Luc, I’ve read your post three times now. Your dad, Your deserts, GERMAINE TILLION—whose existence I’ve just discovered thanks to you. It’s a lot of emotions all at once.
LU Lucbertrand Globetrotter ·
Hi Christine, my mistake—it was Germaine Tillion, I’d missed an *i*. Her books are real references. Her resistance network, "the Musée de l’Homme," was betrayed by a particularly venal priest. What the German counter-espionage paid him allowed him to keep his mistress in luxury. That’s a lot for a clergyman. Many may reject the Catholic religion because of this, but faith and hope in their biblical sense help us move past the immense fallibility of a representative of God.

The title of this discussion you started is "Understanding the World," and faith and hope are two words to truly grasp in a Catholic’s thinking. It can be a long journey or a revelation like the one French writer Éric-Emmanuel Schmitt experienced, which he recounts in his book *Night of Fire*, where the desert plays a key role. Another question within this discussion: science facing the mystery of faith. The deeper our knowledge goes, the more we might be drawn toward faith. Whether it’s Einstein’s theory of relativity or quantum mechanics, the evolution of our understanding leaves us stunned by a coherent whole that increasingly eludes our comprehension—where emptiness seems more and more like the fundamental element of matter.
PA Partirester Regular ·
Hi Luc, You know who you're talking to... Granddaughter of a pastor, daughter of a resistance fighter, explorer of the void. Yes, I’ve read E.E. Schmitt. But also Nietzsche and Hesse, and Dostoevsky, and Gabriel García Márquez, and I learned to read with the Bible. Muslims confronted me with their unshakable faith. Read *The Blue Eyes of the Desert*—it’s published by Elyzad. You’ll find some key words in it... If you prefer, come read it in Ariège; I still have some Mauritanian tea left. Tea is better when it’s shared.

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