TV scriptwriters are a funny bunch. As soon as their ordinary mug starts becoming recognizable on the street thanks to success, their egos start swelling. They walk on clouds. So, one of the guys who worked on the script for our trip—the one who specifically came up with the bit about the SD card being ejected into the great beyond—has built himself a nice little reputation. The kind that can sometimes launch a real career. Then, inevitably, they just can’t stop. That’s how this guy had the poor idea of adding one last twist to the sequence that made him a one-day star. An idea that’s basically about squeezing the lemon until the very last drop, if you know what I mean. The little bag I take everywhere with my essentials—car keys, camera, phone—has also hosted a bunch of secondary items over time. Tissues, a book, city maps... whatever. It became a mess! So I finally decided to sort it out. I empty it onto a table. And there, stunned, I find the memory card that Dom and I desperately searched for on all fours on Cahill’s Crossing walkway, remember? Under the shocked gaze of a little Australian girl. It had ejected straight into my bag! What do you think? Should we fire the scriptwriter? It’s way too improbable! Stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life, right?
We head out to explore Cairns. The city is mostly about the waterfront, the Esplanade. You’ll find tons of bronze plaques there, most of them in memory of a deceased loved one. All you have to do is shell out a few hundred euros, and one day, a bewildered tourist will read your prose, charmed by your lovely turns of phrase. Vanity is a thriving business!
It makes for some reading... We spot our parakeets again... What were they called? Oh right, in abundance! Everywhere, banyan fig trees provide shade from a sun that never seems to tire. Parks... Here, kids are king.
Luxury hotels with their infinity pools...
You don’t know where to look first... You’ve got to go all out. Google... Where can we rent bikes? When we finally track down the only operator in town, we find the place closed. A bit further on, a Visitor’s Center might find us an alternative? We meet a charming young guy, super dynamic and a great communicator. We leave without bikes but with a full snorkeling package for the day after tomorrow! I call the shop that let us down... Well done! The owner was at the doctor’s; he’s back now, and we can make a deal!
- Oh, Dominique, where are you off to like that, so proudly and at full speed? - Me? To the Botanic Garden, of course! It’s huge and free!
They’ve recycled oil tanks into art galleries!
You’ll also come across plenty of Australian bush turkeys, better known as the Latham’s Brush Turkey. …
I look like I’m sulking, but there’s no reason to. It’s a change from our backpacker evenings! The hotel is probably the nicest on our long list—pretty and comfortable too!
There’s a ferry to cross the Daintree River. After that, it’s the jungle—the territory of the terrifying cassowary! !
A kid explains that these cane toads are super venomous and a real plague in this region. They were imported from Hawaii in 1935 to fight a beetle invasion attacking sugarcane fields in Queensland. Total fail because the cane toad couldn’t jump high enough to catch them. Bad luck, they started attacking everything else instead. This pest is harmful from birth—tadpoles poison the fish that eat them. As adults, they have glands full of venom that can paralyze a dog in 15 minutes. Victims of this predator include lizards, snakes, mice, frogs, small marsupials, and more. They’re even blamed for the disappearance of the marsupial cat in Kakadu National Park.
In the end, this big amphibian has gradually invaded Australia, eating and poisoning countless animals along the way‚
We try to cheer ourselves up‚ Back in the tropics‚ Geckos and cockroaches are back‚
After covering 5.5 kilometers at a snail’s pace... Quick break! We spot the bats, still calm. 
Then it’s the three-hour drive back down to Cairns, including the ferry to cross the Daintree…
We’re happy to be back in the city. We quickly rent bikes again from the slightly worn-out young guy who loves talking about grape varieties and only rents them out over the phone. We check out the art museums… Some modern stuff with references to Duchamp…
A young girl explains that’s where the yachts of wealthy billionaires are, including Bill Gates’…
No matter, I’ve got my own assets. Like my sandals with built-in bottle openers in the soles—the vital tool that can save lives! (the Australians…)
