Societal Evolution
FR

Translated into English.

Original post
PU
Hello everyone,

It’s something we often notice in this forum—and many others—this behavioral shift.

A long-time member, or even a new one, asks a question. They get one or more answers, some brief, some detailed, and then... nothing???

Not even a simple thank you!!!

From what I’ve gathered, if the answers don’t align with what they wanted to hear, it seems natural for the asker to just disappear!! 😕 Unless—(and I fear this is the case)—basic politeness is no longer part of our society????

Please forgive my little rant.

Wishing everyone all the best. Cheers,

Puma2A



...
MO Montagnard74 Globetrotter ·
Hello

It’s the same on this forum as in real life—people consume but don’t give back, have more rights than responsibilities, and can’t handle any contradiction or differing viewpoints. And of course, politeness and courtesy have no place in society anymore.

Plus, I’m sure Peaugres must be really nice to visit 😉
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
On a side note, this reminds me of a participant who often complimented me in the most beautiful way about my travel journals, warmly thanked me for this or that great tip—well beyond basic politeness.

But in hindsight: never a tip shared in return, and total forgetfulness about the Facebook page where she was in touch with my wife.

What I’m getting at is that what seemed better before was often just appearances. They aren’t flatterers—they’re sincere—but ultimately not very open to sharing.

It was only after a few years on VF that a comment from another member in a thread made me understand things. He pointed out to someone that they were only taking information without ever giving anything back. That’s exactly when I realized that on every profile, you can see how long a member has been registered, how many messages they’ve written, and the tone of those messages. You spot them quickly—there are a lot of them—who’ve been members for 10 or 15 years, with fewer than 100 messages to their name, and every year, nothing but requests for help planning their trip. At the slightest remark, those people often show their true colors, suddenly becoming much less pleasant. In short, they’re nice as long as you give them what they want. One day, I called one out, and she defended herself vehemently and with great aggression. I remember several members took her side: I was the bad guy, and who did I think I was? In the end, she swore up and down that she’d post a trip report on VF after her next journey. Not only did she obviously never follow through, but a few months later, she even managed to get the discussion thread she’d opened for her questions deleted—I don’t know how. You can only imagine what kind of person she is.

The ones who get away with it are those who don’t write anything. They’re invisible, do their research at will, and leave with their loot. No one’s the wiser.

That said, I’ve had some great satisfactions with people who took the time to write travel journals in recognition of those published by other members. They’re far from the majority, but that’s just how life is.

For the rest, as I often say, we’re now dealing with the first generations of poorly raised people whose parents were also poorly raised. All of this in a context where schools have seriously declined, and screens—especially small ones—reveal their ability to damage minds. Many operate with a consumerist mindset rather than a sharing one. Just look at the counter showing the number of visitors online in the past hour—it’s pretty high—and compare it to the number of messages posted...

Personally, I’ve drawn my conclusions: since 2018, my travel journals no longer reveal certain concrete details, and when it comes to sharing info, I choose who I give it to. Oh, every now and then I slip up and share something, but what can you do? Old habits die hard.
VO Voyajou Globetrotter ·
"There’s no greater gift than giving your time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return." Nelson Mandela

Not to mention it releases dopamine. 😉
MO Montagnard74 Globetrotter ·
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, it is also the mother of all others.”

Cicero
EL Elhine Globetrotter ·
Hello, I’ve been on VF for a long time now, and I don’t post very often anymore, simply because I don’t travel much these days. But I still come here to recharge by reading. Because this place *lives*. We take our time—both in the moment and over the long haul. I’m not into social media. I left Facebook two or three years ago because of the ads, the constant free-for-all with no constructive approach, and the sheer waste of time. Just like so many other social networks, like the societal model we’re forced into. Here, on VF, I don’t waste my time. I *take* it. And I think that’s the mindset that brings together the "regulars" of this site. The conversations here feed me. Sometimes, I add my two cents. The posts from people who just drop by to gobble up the info they want (and run from the info they don’t) are just like those instant-consumption social media platforms—and that’s exactly what society has become. Speed, constant urgency, mindless consumption, everything pre-packaged, no reflection. Oh well! Too bad for the drive-by consumers who don’t even know how to say thank you. We know the times we live in create dehumanized robots. Too bad. What a shame, a real shame. I hope this forum stays a haven of humanity and the joy of sharing and reading for a while longer. It’s up to us to make sure it does. Slow time is delicious, and too bad for those who rush away from it, driven by an urgency that has no place here.

On that note: Thank you all for sharing this gentle pleasure of reading about travel.

Murielle
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
"Everybody wonders how to leave a better planet for our children, but we should really be thinking about leaving better children for our planet."

Clint Eastwood
NI Nimou74 Veteran ·
"Everybody wonders how to leave a better planet for our children, but we should really be thinking about leaving better children for our planet."

Clint Eastwood

We totally agree. Still, I find some people’s ingratitude more noticeable on the Routard forum than here on VF. Unfortunately, it’s clear that VF has also become less responsive than the other one...
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
It's true that our friend Deborah set up another forum during VF's hiatus, and now she isn't closing it down. The most active members are now split between two forums. It plays its part, even if it's far from the only explanation.
MO Montagnard74 Globetrotter ·
It’s true that our friend Deborah set up another forum during VF’s downtime, and now she’s not shutting it down.

Even though I don’t use it, I’m glad she’s not shutting it down! All that work...
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
Yeah, I get that. Plus, they’re left in peace there—no one can go ask them if they’re on their 8th or 12th COVID vaccine booster. Darn, I think I’m gonna get scolded again...
SO Solene40 Globetrotter ·
Well, it feels good to take a little step back from time to time, Alain 😊.

I admit I’ve become more selective in my replies. I’m no Mother Teresa (though sometimes I wonder 😅), I come here mostly for the exchange. And honestly, I skip those who just show up or only ever have questions instead of real messages.

I also find it sad how many people read your travel journal without even saying a word. On average, I get 100 reads per post for just 2 replies! I often think I’m weird for always writing something in the journals I like 😕. But it seems like the least you can do is tell the other person, "No, no, you’re not doing this for nothing—we’re here."

But it really is a sign of our times: "Take everything you can and only think of yourself!"

Thankfully, in real life, I don’t know many people like that. I must be good at keeping them far away from me 😏😊.

Have a great evening, everyone
MU Muriel18 Globetrotter ·
It feels good not to feel so alone anymore! 😏 (yes, because sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into a grumpy old-timer with that "back in my day" vibe 🤪).

And yeah, I sometimes get annoyed at my screen when some people only ask for things without ever giving anything back—worse still, they post a question and don’t even bother reading the answers! 😠

But writing a travel journal, we do it a little for ourselves too, right? (Dopamine question, huh Jean-Luc). Still, I find it a bit discouraging when no one chimes in, even if there are a decent number of views (maybe it’s just about the people—some prefer to unfold their story without too many interruptions).

I also agree with Joël’s (long) message... but dealing with someone polite, even if it’s just surface-level, is always nicer than dealing with a rude person 😎
PU Puma2A Veteran ·
Hello Muriel, and everyone,

Politeness, closely tied to a notion of respect (at the very least), was taught to us from a very young age. Well, that’s how it was for me, at least. And it still holds true... in principle!!

Saying "Thank you" after receiving a service, no matter how small, is a basic part of living together in our society (or at least, that’s what I thought). Stepping aside to let an elderly person pass, holding a swinging door for someone else, helping move a bulky object... there are so many moments in life where "little things" make living together more pleasant and sociable, it seems to me.

But clearly, when you ask for information or a favor, saying thank you at the end feels natural to me. We don’t do the favor or give the information just to hear the word "thank you," of course, but it’s a reflex of respect for others—just like stopping at a red light!

I noticed on safari that my relationship with the driver or guide took a different turn when I said "Thank you" after a great discovery, a requested photo stop, or at the end of the day. And I saw around us that this was very uncommon... which shocked me. I must really be "old-fashioned"!!

Don’t worry, Muriel, I’m not writing a trip report to get responses.

Back in 2013, I had a serious health issue, and I was trying to escape by looking for travel journals or airshow reports (another passion of mine), but I only found short stories with about ten images... Not enough to keep someone stuck at home or bedridden occupied. I promised myself that (if I got better), I’d write long reports with lots of images, primarily for those who are ill or don’t have the opportunity or means to travel or attend these events.

But I also realized that by writing my reports, I was reliving the trip myself (on a budget) and noticing details I hadn’t paid attention to at the time.

So, the feedback doesn’t matter—it’s not the point of my stories.

Have a good Sunday. Regards, Puma2A
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
Reading all of you, I take comfort in thinking that it's better to be surrounded by a few quality people than by a crowd churning out messages at top speed.
MO Montagnard74 Globetrotter ·
Reading all of you, I take comfort in thinking it’s better to be surrounded by a few quality people than by a crowd spinning messages at top speed.

Isn’t it usually towels we spin? 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♀️😂

PS: If that’s not a quality message, I don’t know what is!! ;)
KA Kate Globetrotter ·
Yeah, I get that. And besides, they’re left in peace there—no one can go ask them if they’re on their 8th or 12th COVID booster. Darn, I think I’m gonna get scolded again...

It’s not me who’s gonna scold you 😛 Forums that are too quiet, or where even the slightest jab gets moderated, interest me less than those where we can speak more freely. But that opinion doesn’t take away from the effort or work that went into creating this forum.
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
Yes, and Deborah is a really nice woman.
TI Ticapi Globetrotter ·
It feels good not to feel so alone! Clever (yes, because sometimes I wonder if I’m turning into a grumpy old-timer with that "back in my day it was better!" vibe. LOL).

Same here! 😄

Yeah, it’s sometimes frustrating not to get a simple thank-you. But honestly, that was already the case even before VF shut down. What really gets to me, though, are the people who don’t ask questions in travel journals, who can’t be bothered to start a discussion, and yet still expect to get tips and info via PM.
JO Jojoone1 Globetrotter ·
Direct from producer to consumer! 😉

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